My chronic gut issues were bugging me today. I knew that was coming; whenever my descending colon gets empty, it cramps up bigtime. I had to take a valium twice, which resulted in some slightly monotone lectures and a really long nap afterwards. I snapped at one student, and then I sort of heard myself and asked, am I being bitchier than usual? One woman said NO, you're being perfect! So I guess maybe the guy was being a pain in the butt and deserved it. But I will have to watch it because being really hungry does result in a short temper, at least partially because one isn't being sedated by sugar, I bet...
I feel really skinny. I know that's ridiculous after 4 days, but boy, my stomach is emptying and shrinking nicely. Now, if I were in a prison camp, eating three hundred calories a day and working twelve long hours, IMAGINE how much I would be shrinking. Imagine the fear of knowing that I was already a skinny citizen of a starving country, and then imagine the fear of knowing that I would be losing weight fast. Imagine knowing that nobody could do a thing for me, that my family couldn't help because they were all locked up with me, starving beside me as a result of something I said that made the dictator doubt my patriotism. Imagine being that one woman who started out 5'2” and after a couple years was only 4'6”. Who knew you could lose stature as well as belly fat?
I too have lost about four or five pounds in four days, and I'm sure as heck not doing hard labor, and I'm getting high-quality skimpy food, not trash skimpy food, and I'm getting plenty of clean water so my kidneys don't hurt and my other organs don't grind away at themselves without adequate lubrication.
You know, it makes more sense to me (in a horrible and terrifying way) that a country would starve and torture foreigners than that a country would starve and torture its own. That is just unthinkable. It's like the biggest insecurity ever, if even your own country hates you and wants you dead. I can't even imagine how lost and invisible those inmates must be in that despicable man's system. What kind of a monster must he be, with what kind of black soul?
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